The MaCullums Don't Build Bungalows

As I have mentioned in prior, now somewhat ancient posts, my band The Rebel Wheel are hard at work writing, arranging and rehearsing music for our 2nd CD for 10T Records. We have decided to name it "We Are In The Time Of Evil Clocks" and plan to feature music that deals loosely with that idea, as well as songs that are inspired by Jonson's "The Discoverie of Witchcraft". So. I'd like to say everything is going swimmingly, but alas, due to the bad habits of my neighbours and their pets I am having serious doubts whether I can get all the material ready in time.

The problem is my neighbours (three in all) have bought dogs for their kids. That really shouldn't be a problem in and of itself, but when the kids in question don't care for their pets and the parents never intended to, you end up with neglected and unnecessarily despised nuisances.

The neighbours who live across the street from me bought a Golden Lab puppy for their daughters. At first they were enamoured and played with it constantly until one fateful day the dog nipped one of them (as puppies are wont to do). From that point on the dog has been put on a leash all day long. That is pretty sad but it is compounded by the fact that the same kids play just out of compass of the leash so the dog goes into loud exasperated barking mode from around 7:30 in the morning until around 7:30 at night, with a couple of breaks through the day when it is put inside. They never walk their dog, they never play with their dog, instead they taunt it and torture it by playing just out of reach of its leash. Yay neighbour # 1.

The neighbours who live several doors down from me also have a dog that no-one walks or plays with. The dog was for their kids who have since moved and gone on to university. In this case the leftover owners don't chain it up, instead they let it run around the neighbourhood. It seems like it prefers my lawn best of all for having its daily dump, but that doesn't really bother me so much as the fact it rips my garbage apart, growls at my kids (when they are in their own yard) and barks and attacks any other dog being walked down the street. Most of the people in my small town are very considerate and walk their animals (and even scoop up the poop) but thanks to the exploits of Maggie (demon bitch dog from hell) they get penalized for it by the inconsiderate ones. Yay neighbour #2.

The people who live just down the street from me have two new small yappy dogs they recently bought for THEIR daughter, and as is the trend hereabouts, that daughter has lost interest in her doggies. So now her puppies are chained up outside and bark continously (at each other, at fate, at everything that bloody well moves). At least the kids don't play in front of them (instead they play street hockey on one of the busiest streets in my admittedly small town...often after dark!). Yay neighbour #3.

So on any given day I might get 1/2 an hour of silence from the dog pack. I tend to write during the night as a result, but then the next day starting at around 7:30 am, I am kept awake by the continous barking. This is not the stuff that good tunes are made of but I trudge on regardless and have written some pretty good pieces. Unfortunately there are far too few.

I should have seen this coming when the vacant property next to me was purchased. There was an existing very small house on it but it was promptly torn down. When the new owner (a direct relative of Neighbour #1) was asked what kind of bungalow they would build there the answer (which has become synonymous in my house for pretentious yuppy bullshit) was:

"bungalow? The MaCullums don't build bungalows!!!"

Indeed they don't. Instead a McMansion was crammed into the small lot and threatens to explode onto my property and the street. Good fences build good neighbours, and so do good manners. This place hasn't got much of either.